I’m stuck. Please calm down and do not call the fire department. I am not physically stuck but mentally stuck. I’m sitting here trying to be inspired but all I can think about is sleeping and Slurpees. Not necessarily in that order. But nevertheless those are my thoughts. What to do, what to do. Some people may wonder what does that matter? Who cares if you are uninspired. Get yourself a Slurpee and go to bed for crying out loud.
Well, I am a sculpture by trade. Yes, a real life artist. A friend of a friend commission a piece from me awhile ago but I could never complete it. Now my deadline is looming and I have nothing but a huge mound of clay and some dirty hands. It makes me wonder if I should have followed down the path my parents wanted for me and became an accountant. Although my life would most likely be so much more boring, sorry to all you accountants reading this, I wouldn’t have to deal with these moments of nothingness.
Normally I would get in my old Chevy Nova, please don’t mock the Nova, and take a drive. Just let the stars by my guide. The yellow dash line on the pavement my path. Allow my mind to travel far, far away until something amazing sparks my fingers to start to quiver with anticipation of creating something majestic. Or at least something worth paying the ridiculous amount I charge. The only problem is my lovely Nova is gone. As I fight myself from weeping I shall divulge on you, my lucky audience, the tale of the besotted Chevy Nova. Just kidding. Someone hit my car in the parking lot of Whole Foods. Nothing fabulous or dramatic happen. Just an everyday fender bender. And now it is in the shop. I hope to find out tomorrow if my insurance will pay to have it fix or if I should just tell me to get rid of that old heap and get a new car.
Anyway I am stuck. No car. No muse. No inspiration. Here I am typing praying that these words will facilitate and become the catalyst to my masterpiece. As I am reading this I’m wondering if I am putting too much pressure on myself. Yes, I think that is it. Maybe I will try to relax. Take a nice bubble bath then do at least twenty minutes of yoga. That is exactly what I’ll do. If that doesn’t get the juices flowing I have one more trick up my sleeve. Otherwise I believe I am screwed.
I’m back. I do feel wonderfully relaxed but albeit uninspired. Time for the hail Mary. What always works in this situation. I realize the anticipation is probably killing you right now and you can hardly stand it. But this is a little too personal and I don’t believe my mother will approve of me broadcasting it to the entire world. I think this hail Mary is going to stay my secret. Don’t fret I will let you know how it all goes. If I make the deadline and am able to produce a piece for my client or if its a bust and my reputation is on its way down the drain.
Still there? Well thanks for reading this through. I must admit something, I am not an artist, I’m a tree climber. I work for the power company taking care of those neighborhood trees that are too close to the power lines and helping out during storms and natural disasters. The city is requiring some of its workers to go back to school and get a few certifications related to the job. Here I am in my creative writing elective and our topic is to write in the role of another person or someone we would like to be. I have always I had a secret wish to have talent like sculpting or something else artistic. I guess I should just stick to sculpting trees.